Six sex topics to discuss with a new partner

A new relationship might come with all the butterflies, and I want you forever text that it’s easy to ignore the important aspects especially if you are going to be warming each other’s bed soon! There are questions concerning sex you need to ask your new partner to allow a smooth sail of sex when the time finally comes. Here are some starting tips, you can think up others as you get answers to your questions.

Sexual history

It is important to know the sexual history of your partner. Is he/ she straight? Is he/she bisexual? Is he/she gay? Have they ever had unprotected sex? How often do they get tested for STIs? Have they ever contracted an sexually transmitted infections? Was it a bacterial or viral infection? Of course, you shouldn’t ask the questions in quick succession but endeavor to ask them to stay safe.

Some people won’t tell say anything till you ask, so don’t wait for them to tell you. It is also important you both go for testing and treatment to start the relationship on a new foot without fear of infection.

Sex time

While some people want to have sex every minute of the day, others have a preferred time to get intimate. It is necessary to discuss with your new partner about this and get them to tell you their preferred time. This will save you the embarrassment and frustrations of trying to get someone in bed when they don’t feel like having sex. Moreover, if you both have conflicting times, you can easily compromise to make it work.

Sexual secrets

Does your partner have any secret he or she wants to share with you? Was he/she raped or sexually molested while growing up or recently. It is essential to know the sexual secrets of your partner to know if they need help or special attention during sex.

Sexual health

Is your new partner diabetic and having a problem sustaining an erection? Find out the sexual health problems your partner may have by simply asking. It could be a sexual dysfunction or vaginismus which causes vagina tightness and muscle spasm. It can also be that she always experience painful sex or he has a painful erection. Find out about these problems and ensure they go for treatment to avoid hitches during the relationship.

Sexual Desires

People have different sexual desires and preferences. It is important to know that of your new partner. Does he like the nine shades of grey submission and bondage or is he contented with a vagina and oral sex? Does she have a high libido and cannot be satisfied by one round of sex? You’ll need to clarify these things before you begin the new relationship.

Precautionary methods

We are talking about condoms and contraceptives if you are not ready to have babies immediately you hit the sheets. Know what form of contraceptive your partner prefers. Is it the hormonal contraceptive, withdrawal method or plain old condom. Know about his or her preferences to plan and avoid unwanted pregnancy.

Psychological treatment of sexual dysfunction

Specific treatment recommendations are treatment of sexual dysfunction. Many disorders will respond to pharmacological treatment. However, treatment of a broad range of sexual dysfunction may need more structured psychological treatment. In this form of treatment the couple is seen together whenever possible.

There are three stages:

(i) Improving communication,

(ii) Education

(iii) Graded activities’.

1 Improving communication has two main aims: (i) to help the couple to talk more freely about their problems and (ii) to increase each partner’s understanding of the wishes and feelings of the other. These aims may be appropriate to various kinds of problems. For example, a woman may believe that her partner should know instinctively how to please her during intercourse; she may then interpret his failure to please as lack of affection rather than as the result of her not communicating her wishes to him. Alternatively, the man may wish the woman to take a more active role in intercourse but be unable to say this to her. A further aim of this stage of treatment is to enable the couple to achieve a general relationship that is more affectionate and satisfying.

2 Education focuses on important aspects of the male and female sexual responses; examples are the longer time needed for a woman to reach sexual arousal, and the importance of foreplay, including clitoral stimulation, in bringing about vaginal lubrication. Suitably chosen books on sex education can reinforce the therapist’s advice. Educational counselling is often the most important part to treat erectile dysfunction, and it may need to be repeated when the couple have made some progress with the graded activities described next.

3 Graded activities begin by negotiating with the couple a mutually agreed ban on full sexual intercourse. The couple are encouraged instead to explore the pleasure that each can give the other by tender physical contact. The partners are encouraged to caress each other but not to touch the genitalia at this stage. When they can achieve caressing in a relaxed way that gives enjoyment to each partner, the next stage is genital foreplay without penetration. When genital foreplay can be enjoyed by both partners,the next stage is the resumption of full intercourse in a gradual and relaxed way, in which the partner with the greater problem sets the pace. In this stage a graduated approach starts with ‘vaginal containment’, in which the penis is inserted gradually into the vagina without thrusting movements. When this graded insertion is pleasurable for both partners, movement is introduced, usually by the woman at first. At each stage, each partner is encouraged to find out and provide what the other enjoys. The couple are advised to avoid checking their own state of sexual arousal. Such checking is common among people with sexual disorder, and has the effect of inhibiting the natural progression of sexual arousal to intense orgasm. Each partner should be encouraged to allow feelings and physical responses to develop spontaneously whilst thinking of the other person.

Hormones have no place in the treatment of sexual dysfunction except in cases where there is a primary hormonal disorder. The overall results of sex therapy are that about a third of cases have a successful outcome and another third have worthwhile improvement. Patients with low sex drive generally have a poor outcome.

Young Men and Erectile Dysfunction

The Journal of Sexual Medicine in July of 2013 came up with a shocking study. The study revealed that maintain hard erection (erectile dysfunction) is now a common factor in many young men. Research done concluded that Ed affects 26% of adult men below 40 years of age.

What’s even worrying is the fact that almost half of the men suffer from severe premature ejaculation. The study indicates that today; the rate of Ed in young men matches the rate of premature ejaculation amongst older men.

Excessive smoking and use of drugs is to blame. Below we look at the main causes of erectile dysfunction amongst young men:

Physical and Psychological Effects

We start off by stating vividly that; the treatment of premature ejaculation causes, is likely to help resolve this problem. For some men, there are lifestyle changes that contribute a positive difference. Many more benefit from:

•                    Counselling

•                    Medications

•                    Soft Erection treatment and various forms of treatment

Experts suggest that ignoring premature ejaculation is not a wise decision. The reason being; ED can be a sign that you are suffering from various health issues.

Cardiovascular Effects

To get an erection; one requires a healthy circulation of blood. Atherosclerosis (clogged arteries), are known to cause premature ejaculation. Moreover; high blood pressure also causes ED.

Medical experts also suggest that erectile dysfunction in some instances is a sign of diabetes. Reason; high blood glucose damages blood vessels. It aggravates vessels that supply the penile gland with blood during an erection.

Obesity also plays a critical role in the foundation of hypertension and diabetes. Young men that are overweight are asked to take steps to shed off the extra weight.

Psychological Effects

To achieve an erection; sexual excitement is a feeling that triggers the brain, which sends a message to the penile gland. Unfortunately; conditions such as; anxiety and depression interfere with the erection process.

As a matter of fact; a significant depression sign is the withdrawal from things that brought sexual pleasure once. More stress stemming from things such as:

•                    Money

•                    Appearance

•                    Job security

•                    Life

And various concerns all contribute to Erectile Dysfunction. Alcohol and drug abuse are major causes of premature ejaculation in many young men. Moreover; problems and poor communication with a sexual partner leads to sexual dysfunction in men and women.

Hormonal Effects

•                    Low testosterone level and many other types of hormonal disorders profoundly contribute to erectile dysfunction

•                    The pituitary gland produces a hormone known as prolactin that also plays a role in ED

•                    Premature ejaculation is also caused by either high or low thyroid hormonal levels

•                    Young men who use steroids for the purpose of gaining muscle mass are a high risk of suffering from erectile dysfunction

Conclusion: the mentioned above points are some of the reasons why many young men today suffer from erectile dysfunction. The best way to beat it is by avoiding them and sticking to a healthy diet and exercise regime.