Six sex topics to discuss with a new partner

A new relationship might come with all the butterflies, and I want you forever text that it’s easy to ignore the important aspects especially if you are going to be warming each other’s bed soon! There are questions concerning sex you need to ask your new partner to allow a smooth sail of sex when the time finally comes. Here are some starting tips, you can think up others as you get answers to your questions.

Sexual history

It is important to know the sexual history of your partner. Is he/ she straight? Is he/she bisexual? Is he/she gay? Have they ever had unprotected sex? How often do they get tested for STIs? Have they ever contracted an sexually transmitted infections? Was it a bacterial or viral infection? Of course, you shouldn’t ask the questions in quick succession but endeavor to ask them to stay safe.

Some people won’t tell say anything till you ask, so don’t wait for them to tell you. It is also important you both go for testing and treatment to start the relationship on a new foot without fear of infection.

Sex time

While some people want to have sex every minute of the day, others have a preferred time to get intimate. It is necessary to discuss with your new partner about this and get them to tell you their preferred time. This will save you the embarrassment and frustrations of trying to get someone in bed when they don’t feel like having sex. Moreover, if you both have conflicting times, you can easily compromise to make it work.

Sexual secrets

Does your partner have any secret he or she wants to share with you? Was he/she raped or sexually molested while growing up or recently. It is essential to know the sexual secrets of your partner to know if they need help or special attention during sex.

Sexual health

Is your new partner diabetic and having a problem sustaining an erection? Find out the sexual health problems your partner may have by simply asking. It could be a sexual dysfunction or vaginismus which causes vagina tightness and muscle spasm. It can also be that she always experience painful sex or he has a painful erection. Find out about these problems and ensure they go for treatment to avoid hitches during the relationship.

Sexual Desires

People have different sexual desires and preferences. It is important to know that of your new partner. Does he like the nine shades of grey submission and bondage or is he contented with a vagina and oral sex? Does she have a high libido and cannot be satisfied by one round of sex? You’ll need to clarify these things before you begin the new relationship.

Precautionary methods

We are talking about condoms and contraceptives if you are not ready to have babies immediately you hit the sheets. Know what form of contraceptive your partner prefers. Is it the hormonal contraceptive, withdrawal method or plain old condom. Know about his or her preferences to plan and avoid unwanted pregnancy.

Therapy And Low Libido

Low libido is a sexual disorder in male and female. A woman suffering from low libido suffers from low stress drive, in the sense that they are always not excited by it because they find it disinteresting.  Low sex libido in women most times is due to two major issues, it is either due to the psychological effect of the woman or probably due to health reasons.

Some women actually come to feel fear, guilt, resentment, and disgust. They cannot even bear to know why sex is important; they look for every reason to avoid any talk on it. This may be due to past occurrence which may unknowingly to the patient have affected her psyche due to her perception of it.

Low sexual libido in a nutshell is having a low sex drive. There are numerous reasons why some persons suffer from this ailment, and the major one is stress. A woman that stresses herself everyday with one activities or the other during the day may find it stressful to engage in sexual activities at night with her partner. If she is also suffering from mental stress maybe due to the events happening around her.  Stress is an important factor because it decreases the important sex hormones estrogen.

Estrogen though is cured most times with pills, spray and sometimes gel for those who may have gotten to menopause stage, that is, if they already know it is the cause of their low libidos, but in other cases a therapist is the perfect answer for it.

The medical part most times is low testosterone level, type 2 diabetes and sometimes depression which should be cured by medications if need be before going through therapeutic session. Aside stress, poor dieting also lowers the libido most especially in women, low carbohydrate, low fats in diets affects the hormones that enhance the libido. Another thing that affects libido is hypothyroidism, because it prevents the reproductive organs from carrying out their functions in the body properly.

Although medications to some extent cure this ailment but visiting a therapist still remains the best solution in this aspect. The major role the therapist play in this case is not to administer drugs but to work on your psyche. The reason being that most of the causes of these low libido effect may actually be initiated by the individual maybe due to some circumstances she is powerless over. The therapist will always look for the emotional part of your situation because sex itself brings emotion to the forefront. In curing this ailment, the therapist most often listen to the happenings in your sex life and advices you on how to go about it. A therapist is supposed to bring your sex drive back to gear.

It is very advisable for women with low libido to seek the help of a therapist, because they are trained to help work through the problem with you. After going through therapeutic sessions and the emotional blockade have been dealt with, the couple is then advised to engage in some behavioral exercises that have been planned by the therapist which on most occasions are designed to remove fear and increases sensual awareness towards herself.

Five ways women can increase their libido

We often talk about men and low libido problems probably because we believe men are to be the ones saddled with the responsibility of satisfying women, but it doesn't always have to be the case. 

Most women are guilty of this lack of sexual desire and often find that they have to force themselves to enjoy sex with their partners. They do not even have sexual thoughts or desires when they are alone and this lack of sexual desire could cause a strain to their relationship. If you are going through this or you've always experience a lack of sexual desire, these tips could help boost the libido and make your partner look more appealing than before:

Eat chocolates

You may not be a fan of junks, but you will want to try this out because it works. Chocolate bars, cookies, cakes, contain properties which serve as aphrodisiac. Just licking a chocolate can put in a high mood and make you want to be in the same bed with your partner. 

Try eating chocolate bars with your partner while on bed to see the effect. 

Exercise

Another way to boost your libido is through exercising. Exercising helps in lifting your mood and also stimulates your vagina. Sine women get wet while skipping, jogging or even horse ridding. Your clitoris is stimulated while exercising and having it stimulated regularly can increase sexual appetite.

Stress management 

Stress could be the main cause of your recent low drive. Are you going through some kind of trauma, is it difficult to pay the bills? Or is the workload at work increasing by the minute?  Whatever the case may be, you will need to find ways to effectively manage stress and ensure they are not taking a toll on your sex life. You could find identify these stresses and know those that have an immediate solution and those you will need to manage till a solution comes.  Hanging out after work or going for vacation could help to relieve you. 

Keep the communication lines open with your partner

Talk to your partner concerning any issue that is weighing you down. Is it something he did that you cannot get over? Talk to him rather than bearing grudges or feeling irritated. Your relationship should be worth more than your ego.  You could also open up if you are having problems being sexually satisfied. Bottling unborn managing the situation could lead to lower libido levels. If your partner hardly begins sex with foreplay and you do not like it, talk to him about and make him change his bedroom manners.

Make sex count

Sex is not an about doggy or missionary position and it doesn't have to always take place in the bed. There are different sexual positions and locations you can always try out to keep the romance and attractiveness alive. Rather than hitting the sheets, try out standing positions at the corner of the kitchen, the balcony or even the garage. There are various standing positions you could easily try out which will make you screen in ecstasy.